Trying not to try! – Parenting Article

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May 15, 2021
If you’re dreaming for a kid who can change the course of the world and can be able to think out of box, then stop building a box first! Parents can only help the children grow wings without deciding how far they’d fly. Else just loving and believing in your kids would do miracles.

Written by - Swati Joshi

Today, overthinking is in fashion. Creating hype about anything we see is in. As it is about parenting, this phenomenon is also overworked in contemporary society. Being a parent or having a baby is indeed special but quite natural too. But, giving it an extraneous attention is overdoing it. Every parent wants the baby to be extraordinary. (I don’t understand yet what the problem with ordinary is!!). One of the friends keeps on telling me how she had kept thinking about a baby with extra talents during her pregnancy or how she prayed to god for not giving her an average child. And while she talks about extra talents, she depicts Einstein, Mozart and Da Vinci!! Do you believe that either Einstein’s, Mozart’s or Da Vinci’s parents would have planned for their being so extraordinary?? Had Einstein’s mother cared for her son’s brain to be so much developed that it would have been preserved one day! What I want to convey here is that you can give your baby a view but, envision is something you can’t teach or provide the baby with. Each and every child on this planet has something special naturally. Need not to try for making your baby alike someone. The fate has inscribed it before you can plan or try for something.

Will technology make us God??

Technology has made us more powerful than our forefathers used to be. That is advantageous too. But every time; trying for little extra to ‘Just what the doctor has ordered’ is not necessary. Parents forget sometimes that they are just guardians; the baby is not a property they own. The child belongs to you but getting a hold over or controlling is something different. Giving the baby the best you have is the right thing to do but expecting for the desired yield out of your ‘investment’ is delusive. And giving everything to the baby before it is born is also something unreal, isn’t it? We can find many ‘would be fathers’ working and worrying so hard for baby’s future. I have seen many of them planning about the baby’s future occupation! I have heard from one of the relatives that he has worked and arranged in a way that his son or daughter will not have to ask for any favor from anyone in future. And not only the men but many of the working ‘would be moms’ stretch their limits to make it up for baby’s bright future! All these usually sum up in a fat bank balance. Will it be sufficient?? I guess it might help the parents to be less insecure.

Parents must not try to be the kids’ God. It is because there are very few things or jobs left for you to finish by the Nature. Your baby is not what you have imagined of or what you think it should be like but it is something that contains a few of your attributes to become what it is meant to be here. Little tough to get at once but parents simply need to understand that they are provided with parts of a jigsaw puzzle to make the picture complete. Here the picture is pre-decided and the pieces already have prints to match that picture. What you can work on is just to assemble them perfectly!

We have a number of examples around us proving that though parents are literally average or sometimes even below average, the children have remarkably special abilities. And there are diverse examples also where the parents are absolutely genius and the kid is average. Have you heard about Theodor Miller Edison?? Or Eugene Chaplin?? Or heard of Katti B. Screws?? Or Phaenarete?? Among these four, first two are the examples of the average children of very famous geniuses i.e. Thomas Alva Edison and Charlie Chaplin respectively. While the other two names are the mothers of Michael Jackson and Socrates respectively!!! Looking at these examples, we can definitely conclude that pushing your kid ‘to become’ something would hardly work.

Nature has its discreet ways for every single creation.

Thus, we have to accept that there is no scheme, rule or pattern for what your child would grow into. It may happen that you work very hard to make your baby learn something but the baby can’t get it done right then on failing, you think of changing the course and it may not work again. This jab and cross continues till you find the right way!! There is this one thing that can help you to be on the right track easily that is to keep Faith and Patience! Instead of expecting the results, hoping for the results is far relieving for both the ends i.e. parents as well as the child.

Your behavior will be transmitted.

Loving your baby unconditionally and living each moment with it is the perfect way to refrain yourself from overdoing ‘Parenting!’ Everything else the baby will know or learn from observing you that is how you behave or react in various conditions, what you think about people or situations . This I can say in few words that your standards or principles will directly be transmitted to the kid through your behavior. So, believing and behaving will serve the purpose. This will make you reach half the way without trying!!

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Let’s Start Talking!

Swati Joshi is an Indian writer who loves to write in English and Indian Languages like Gujarati. Read her Gujarati Poetry and Motivational articles at Swati's Journal.
Swati Joshi

www.swatisjournal.com

1 Comment

  1. Rekha mehta.

    Good explanation.
    Parents are only the guardians.👍👍👍

    Reply
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