Be yourself! – as they say now a days.

So, what exactly this ‘being one’s self’ means?? Literal meaning of being one’s self is to think, act and deliver what exactly you are from within. In simple words, it is to be who you are, right? In other words, sticking to the values or objectives for living that represent your inner being. Here I’m gonna talk about a woman’s life. So, I think the life has so much to offer to you that would constantly try and push you to change yourself, yet accepting all of that with an open heart and still not diminishing your individuality is what I call ‘Being Yourself’. There are a couple brave hearts, who think alike,

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou.

She stated this in her book Letter to My Daughter.

Being one’s self is important for everyone, but I personally believe that it is more than indispensable for women. During the course of life, a woman has to deal with many things and situations that a man can easily avoid or can say he could escape without being affected.

There are happenings in life where a man easily can say NO to be a part of it, but a woman can not! Many of my readers would deny this. But my dear friends, when we analyze the society as a whole, it becomes too clear that the right to make equal choices is still some high-priced dream for many of us.

In our social stature, women are expected to perform her best in the balancing act between family, career, ambitions, kids, social commitments and above all individual limitations. I don’t mean to say here that men are saved of this balancing act, yet the women have to toil it a little more every time. And this has got consequences too.

When a woman doesn’t be herself?

While doing right rather I’d say doing as expected for everyone around, a woman slowly starts losing a couple of things..

1. Focus
2. Confidence
3. Credibility
4. Adequacy
5. Dreams
6. Peace of mind

To all the women out there, I’d say that in pleasing everybody, you would deprive yourself of focus and you start wasting your energy on things that are irrelevant and insignificant to you. And these trivial things don’t lead anyone, anywhere so, at the end of the whole exercise, no one gets benefitted and you are all exhausted. This is quite common for women trying to sort out everything for everyone around regardless of her liking or disliking.

Many of us have to face this in their everyday life. When this becomes a routine in a woman’s life, she starts losing confidence in herself, struggling constantly to regain it anyhow. The other outcome of her mental struggle is that she detriments her credibility just because her thoughts and actions don’t match most of the times.

Now, tell me if you could see any contentment coming in such a way of living. The emotional, material, personal and many a times physical inadequacy gradually makes its way in her life right away. These shortcomings snatch away her dreams very easily for it’s just a matter of time as anyone regardless of being a man or a woman has got limited time and energy to invest either to make their dreams come true or to make it work for gratifying others. One has to make a clear choice about the direction he/she would keep moving in, right?

And the final fallout to everything above is that she forfeits her peace of mind for almost nothing.

I find this to be an expensive deal! Here, this quote from The Rainmaker makes my point quite clear.

“Don’t compromise yourself – you’re all you have.” – John Grisham

How to be yourself?

It’s as simple as…

1. You listen to your inner voice.
2. You follow your instincts .
3. You stick to the precious values you have inherited.
4. Stop carrying the baggage of others’ opinions.
5. Be kind to yourself. (Women forget this most of the times.)
6. Be brave enough to face and accept your weaknesses.
7. Don’t be afraid of failing.
8. Be accountable for what you have or haven’t achieved.
9. Trust yourself.
10.Leave behind your past, arrogance and dejection.

Women many a times underestimate themselves and let others down them too. I’d like them all to remember these golden words from The Light in the Heart.

“Strong people have a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness; they don’t need the approval of others.” – Roy T. Bennett

What being yourself mean to you?

Women have to remember that being one’s self doesn’t mean to be selfish. It is just about living a symbiotic life keeping it all intact or secured what she is or what she has. In these many years of living, I’ve observed that a woman isn’t afraid darkness or negativity; instead she’s afraid of her own light.

I’ve seen women being scared of unveiling their real self. A woman keeps her inner self covered fearing disapproval from her near ones most of the times. Being a woman, sometimes I also want to avoid expressing what exactly covers my mind, but then I instruct myself to pull up right there and these prized words from Mystic of Enlightenment help me through those overcasting notions.

“To be yourself requires extraordinary intelligence. You are blessed with that intelligence; nobody need give it to you; nobody can take it away from you.” – U G Krishnamurti

Women also must not forget that they aren’t born to be something people constantly want them to be. A woman simply is a human being who also has equal rights to be happy, to follow her value system, to make mistakes as well as to be contented. All of this is a part of living, isn’t it?

We as persons have to invariably keep this in mind that we aren’t here to compete with anyone, not even with ourselves (as they say be a better version of yourself everyday.. No, it’s not required I think!) Being yourself is sufficient for this life time. The moment you feel what you have isn’t enough for you to stay happy or contented is the only time when you look for changing yourself. Otherwise, your relationship with yourself is fair enough to make your life worthy.

Being yourself for me simply means getting hold of yourself. And no other person can know you better than you know yourself thus, no other person can decide for you other than yourself. true? In short, you’re an expert of your own being. You and only you are responsible and accountable for the thoughts you have and the same applies to your actions. Here, independence and self-awareness go side by side. So, as a woman I totally believe in the following words,

“Your time is limited so, don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs

Books do serve as an elderly friend who guide us when we’re singing the blues (can’t ignore my love for idioms) the amazing words by this great, old philosopher Lao Tzu has helped me every time I’ve needed. So, I’d love to conclude with this beautiful quote from his book Tao Te Ching.

“Knowing others is intelligence;

knowing yourself is true wisdom.

Mastering others is strength;

mastering yourself is true power.” – Lao Tzu

Lots of love n respect for all the strong women out there who have shown the courage and have been their selves.